Christians are straight up FREAKS
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
