so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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