i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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