I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
