shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
