U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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