ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
