had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
