i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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