I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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