The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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