The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize