its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
