Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
