So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
