Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
