So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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