so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
