halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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