And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
