everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
