Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
