Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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