I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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