never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize