Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
