Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
