i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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