think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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