hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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