I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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