ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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