dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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