So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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