planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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