Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
