Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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