so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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