a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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