was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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