Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
