Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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