i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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