If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
