Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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