respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
stop calling my apartment porn island.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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