I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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