hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
