I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize