Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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