I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
