Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
