whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
