kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
