Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
