there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
