fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
