we have officially lost it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
