quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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