Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
