I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
