he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
