How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
