imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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