awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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