You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize