9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
