Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
