just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
