i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
