Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
