I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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