I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
