if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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