Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
