You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
