Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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