Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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