he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
