She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
