How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
