I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
