I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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