So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize